I couldn’t go through with the treatment. I was too afraid of the all the side effects. I decided at that time that I was going to alter my eating and approach things in an extremely healthy thought along with taking vitamin supplements. I was basically going back to the garden.
I did this until Nov. 2009 and then felt it was time for me to go to see the Physicians Asst. at the Gastro office. I wanted to know how I was doing and thinking about have the liver biopsy to see. I told her with absolute certainty that I was not doing the interferon treatment. We talked about scheduling the biopsy and I left. I started thinking that I really do need to start treatment and trust God that he will get me through the next 48 weeks. I have read and spoken to people who have done treatment and had nothing good to say about it.
I went to the hospital for a liver ultra sound and then the biopsy. The nurse who was with me said I see on your chart that you do not want to do the treatment. Again I said how afraid I was of it. She told me that her husband had hep C and was sick from the treatment. They had an appt. later in the day to see how his viral load was at 12 weeks and then decide if he should continue the treatment if it is not dropping.
I had the ultra sound and was told that it looked normal. Well for sure I was expecting great results from the biopsy. I had this done on a Friday and my PA called me Tues.and the results were not what I was expecting to hear. She said that I had Stage 3 Fibrosis and Stage 4 is Cirrhosis.
I told her that I wanted to start the treatment and wanted to start the antidepressants before I started the interferon. I had heard that depression was a huge side effect and thought that if I got this into my system before then perhaps I could possibly nip this in the bud. She said she wished other patients would do this. She put me on Celexa for 3 weeks to see how I’d react to it.

Thanks for stopping by and until next time….I stand still on the still waters. Diane

Are you kidding me? I'm the perfect candidate. I'm no. 1. Don't you get rid of 201 not 01? She said she was sorry and I could participate with the practice but the cost would be up to me. I had a schedule of all the times I'd me meeting with the study and the co-pays would cost me a fortune along with the cost of the meds.
I must be strong in my faith with Jesus. I try not to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I must trust and believe God has a plan, purpose and reason for this dreaded disease. I was surprised. He was not. He hasn’t kicked me to the curb. He has sent me on a different path. Oh that I may be pleasing to Him. The Lord was speaking to my heart about not having a defeatist attitude. My anger has finally left me. Still having anxiety, though. I thought God had opened a door for me by going to the study and trial and now the door just slammed in my face. I once again know that God is in control of my life. What is the definition of faith? Hebrews 11:1 defines it as “the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” We may not understand the way something really works. How can a computer or phone for that matter transfer our voices and information via unseen lines or by a satellite up in the sky and across the ocean? I know it just works. It’s the same way with the Lord. He is working on our behalf even though we don’t understand or see what He is doing.
I must praise Him in the midst of what seems to be madness. I must stand in the gap for others and not continually have a woe is me attitude or be cynical toward everyone else’s life or comparing my life to theirs. God is working in my life. Yes, I don’t see it. Philippians 2:13 states “For it is God who is continually working in you. He is interceding to the Father on my behalf”. Don’t be discouraged!
Thanks for stopping by and until next time….I stand still on the still waters. Diane

I had gone to the practice doing the study and was given a 22 page packet of what to expect each week and the office visits. Yikes!! I was scheduled for a liver biopsy the end of March 2009. I was called and told that the pharm. company wanted me to move it up sooner, as they were anxious to have everyone get started. We would only be known as a number by the pharm. company, as no names would be mentioned. And my number happened to be 0001dwc. I'm no. 1, numero uno, I am the first on the list! There are 199 more people on this list after me. So now I am scheduled for March 27,2009 for the liver biopsy.
I got a call from the office telling me that the pharm. company is anxious to get everyone started and to have me move my biopsy up 2 weeks. It is a week before and my anxiety is kicking in high gear knowing in 2 days after the biopsy I'd be starting the interferon and the side effects would be attacking me 1 or 2 days after my injection.
A week before the scheduled biopsy I get a message on my cell phone that they had over enrolled and that I was being dropped from the study! I was totally freaked out and hysterical as soon as I got off the phone….
Thanks for stopping by and until next time….I stand still on the still waters. Diane

Ever since I found out I have Hep C it’s amazing the amount of people I have spoken to who have it. An old friend heard about it and called me. I never knew he had the disease. He was diagnosed in l992. He was on the interferon for 3 months and took himself off of it because of the awful side effects. He said it was altering his personality and couldn’t function at work. This is not encouraging!
I am a very rich woman. I am rich in the fullness of wonderful family, friends and incredible Pastoral leadership. He and his wife are 2 of the most amazing, accessible and loving people to enrich my life. They all are there for me night and day. All would help me no matter what my need is. I have an email list of numerous friends who I periodically update on what is happening and are standing by me with prayers and encouragement.
I love to watch Extreme Makeover and don’t you know the family they were building for had lost their husband and father to Hep C. He was just skin and bones before he passed away. That put me in whirlwind and a pile of tears yet again.
I was scheduled for an ultra sound of my liver on 12/9 and called and asked to have it moved up to 12/3. I had to know the results asap. When I did go as soon as the tech started I started to cry. I have never cried so much as I have over all of this. I was notified that it came back normal. Hmm, this seemed encouraging, or so I thought.
I had told my family and friends, but not my co-workers. I'm not quite sure why I was apprehensive about telling them. I internalized all of this at work and could think of little else. How am I going to work? How much work would I miss? I was petrified of the side effects and being single and dealing with this alone was over whelming me.
Psalm 77:14 “You are the God of miracles and wonders! You still demonstrate your awesome power”. I have always been remarkably healthy. Please God let not these meds make me sick. Let not this awful disease rob me of my life.
I told my supervisor that I had this disease and we talked about me filling out the paper work for the Family Medical Leave (FMLA) which would secure my job for a year. At least that gave me some sense of security. She gave me the papers to take home and fill out and as I was reading, it jumped out at me that you were eligible if you had been employed for the minimum of 1 year. I had been there 3 months and therefore it was not for me. Now the fear was getting a tighter grip on me….
Thanks for stopping by and until next time….I stand still on the still waters. Diane

April 24,2010

The gastro doc said I had 2 options. One would be to stay with him knowing that this whole process would be costly with many office visits. Two, was he would refer me to a hospital that was doing a study on Hep C and all costs would be consumed by them. Hello, no brainer here. See ya doc!
This is now Jan. 2009 and I met with the provider for the study. I did extensive blood work and they had to send all the information to a pharmaceutical company that is doing a clinical trial in conjunction with the study to see if I would be accepted. I’m thinking, I am the perfect candidate for this study and trial. I’m not taking any medications other than vitamins. The interferon and the trial drug would have nothing to interact with. I’m exactly what they are looking for. The pharm. company was very excited about this new medication and we would not know if we were getting the actual drug or the placebo. They called me and said that I needed to go and have yet more blood work done! I have so much blood work taken I feel like I could date a vampire!
This pharm. company wanted to select 200 people to participate from 200 location sites that would be found in the US, Europe and Argentina. I am having terrible anxiety and fear of taking the interferon. Everyone I had spoken to and read about had horror stories. I had at one time gone to a Hep C chat line and everyone there scared me so badly with the grueling side effects I exited right away. I just wanted to lie on my bed and crawl into a hole. Oh God, how am I going to get through this? I was held captured in fear.
Thanks for stopping by and until next time….I stand still on the still waters. Diane

Oct. of 2008 I went to the doctor for what appeared to be cellulitis from a blister that I had gotten from a pair of new shoes. My doc said I should throw the shoes out. Nope, I don’t think so. I loved them and am still wearing them today. She asked me to do blood work. Two days later she called me and told me that my liver enzymes were elevated and wanted to have me be retested for Hep B and Hep C. I was shocked beyond measure. I went and retested the blood work and she called me and said I was positive for Hep C.
I had gone back to the dr for a Hep B vaccine and the nurse was telling me that I basically could write a year of my life off! I don’t want to write a year off. She made me feel as if I was wearing the Scarlett Letter of A for afflicted.
Now I'm really freaked out. WHAT??!! She told me that I needed to see a Gastro doc for this and set me up for an appointment. How could this be? It had been over 30 years since I was living that life style. What was going to happen to my life? I did a great deal of crying and screaming at God “WHY?” This is so surreal.
I had gone online for information on Hep C and read several sites with much information. I had also spoken to people who have Hep C and tried to educate myself. I went to the doctor and was told this has probably been lying in my system for many years. He had me do more blood work to see if I could possibly be just a carrier vs. actually having the virus. Well, of course, I thought I was a carrier. Unfortunately, it was not the case. When I went to see him for the results he told me that I did in fact have the virus. I have genoa 1A. I'm shaking and crying and taking notes as he is speaking, knowing that I'd never remember what he was telling me. My life was about to take a dramatic change….
Thanks for stopping by and until next time….I stand still on the still waters. Diane